When Maa is not around.


   20 years old, I sit, and make big talks about life miracles and philosophies. Feeling so young in my skin at one end, like I can accomplish all my head can imagine. Where reality is dissimilar - my youth battles it, until one day, or so I presume, old age will tire me out of this battler for new warriors to fight the same way, the same war. Life is a loop.

Like a combatant tediously fighting for people and against people (see loop?) I fight impossibilities and perhaps veracity.  ‘Simple’ no more a word to me - but that does not refute its existence. It is as it is. Sitting on a cosy sofa in the company of the cool breeze, all aid to the light shower in the evening and plenty so called ‘intellectual’ books on the side table I wonder why I don’t feel as passive as I should with all the ‘apparent’ thrill of young blood running in my veins and the ‘ideal’ noble framing of my scholarly surroundings.

I miss simple. I miss simple emotions. I miss affection, love, care, tenderness and selflessness ….  I miss Maa.



There, I lost my battle. I lost to reality – the reality of needs and wants... dependency, vulnerability and maybe the truth. I am defeated by my own senses and self-ego. We’re all babies, least me, deceiving babies. Masking under thoughts we create.




Comments

  1. We are all babies, yes. But that leaves all the more space to grow up and keep growing and yet remain a baby. Riddles.

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  2. Oh so true. Life is so riddled, it often leaves you at the point where you started. The only difference a journey through makes is, giving you a reason.

    Thank you for dropping by, I enjoy the little optimism in your tone.

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  3. u have written the truth......its difficult to doff this masking we create around us; its Not simple!

    but time makes us understand our very being and existence.....we overcome things as we move on for sure!

    Your blog is Nice :)

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  4. @Usama Rehman
    So true, gradually I suppose we learn and be wise.

    Thank you so much for the compliment and for the visit. Much appreciated :)

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  5. This is how I felt when I left home at 17. But it is always good to know that there IS a home to get back to.

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  6. @Zeba 17 is much young, yet I feel nothing but respect here for you.

    Your point is such a blessed reminder. Thank you

    ReplyDelete

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