Have me kill you, oh 'hope'.


Why persist to reside inside,
when mocked you are outside?
When hands to tarnish  are alert
you opt to survive?

I despise your resilience,
oh so badly, I do
it's pitiful how you exist
all veiled and so timid!

Have some dignity
oh, hope!
or borrow it from sorrow - so tenacious  it is
don't you follow?

Morrow or today, or even now 
as I say,
Kill yourself or so shall I.
   Save the agony of fighting, trying to rescue all
that which is a lie.
Go on -
please,
 just die.





Dreamt something...

I can talk about dreams all day long. They are fascinating as it is! and mind you, if you don't  find them interesting what so ever, I think imagination and curiosity within you has seized to exist. They are the  indication of the basic natural creativity that all of us possess and none can escape. It is like a law of nature that signals and announces the vitality of imagination.

OK. Chucking the philosophical rambling and getting to what I was here for, a dream that I saw. This is the first time I am going to narrate a first hand, sort of,  experience to you guys. You have my permission to laugh and well, enjoy. I know I did when I woke up.

[Oh by the way, just a precautionary warning : This is going to smell,taste and sight weird]

Here goes :

Like all dreams tend to have, or not to have,  this one dream of mine had no exact starting point to it. I was starring this dream with two other people. I say starring cause it felt like a movie, you'll know why. One of them was my elder brother, Ashar, he's about 22..23..

[ *or is he 24? ..Jeez, I am a terrible sister*]

and the other companion of ours was PAULO COEHLO!

[Hahahaha. I KNOW RIGHT? Go on, laugh all you want. I did too. One sexy minded man he is nevertheless! ]

My brother looked the same as he does now, handsome *pukes* with a slight beard indicating our stay had been long. Sir Paulo looked the same as he does in his pictures... radiant *teehee*. He was in a powder blue full sleeved shirt paired with a khaki pant. As for me, I was too busy experiencing it and couldn't see my self throughout the dream, but I felt every emotion as the dream progressed. All of us looked worried, exhausted and I could feel my brain pounding as we made our way to a parking lot of an old house, the point where I can remember my dream starting.

It was dark, the stars above us were closer than they normally appeared on the surface of the Earth. At the beginning I was doubtful if it was even earth we were one. I was thinking back and forth, perplexed as the structure and setting of the house were that which coincided with the houses build on earth.

'It has to be earth, we can't be out of it, how else would we be breathing ?' 

I questioned myself and saw my companions sharing the same confusions as I did. We were right behind the bonnet hiding, exactly from what I did not know at that point. After a moment of resting my back on the car's bonnet I took a deep breath, turned and joined my brother to gaze at the so vivid sky. What ever it was we were hiding from was in the sky, it was mere intuition on our part. I could sense that. Sir Paulo was more tired than the two of us, it seemed we had been running for long. I patted his shoulder in reassurance, not sure if I had any myself.

[Things that only happen in your dreams, literally in dreams. Patting a world famous writer. Gah. No one can take that though. Win!]

Our silence was short lived. They came flying in. They were not humans, they were robots.

We weren't on earth. I was answered.

" DIMINISH THE OXYGEN FIELD. HUMANS DETECTED " They said. They, looking all.. well.. like this :

If only you could see the real thing, it was more classy. Meh. 


*Coming back*

HOLY CARBON HYDROGEN OXYGEN! They were after our lives, they wanted to kill us. That was clear, they wanted us dead and then we did what mighty Scooby would have done. RAN!

"They will kill us. Inside! INSIDE! Come on"  My brother proclaimed as we shouldered Paulo. Running up two stairs into a veranda and peeking at our backs with robots up head. My brother wrestled the door knob and we squeezed just in time to close the door.

"Open up.Open up.Open up. Open up....." A repetitive command came flying from the robots outside, so loud it numbed our ears.

"SHUT UP YOU METAL ASSES!" I screamed with pain and agitation. Unlike the composed self I am known to be ,or so I think, I was given a stare by my brother and a chuckle from the old man. Right or wrong, it made them stop. It was getting hard to breathe. We had landed in a bedroom, it had just that one bed on it's north wall with two windows gracing the south & east walls. They were air tight, thick glasses with no way to open them.

"See if there is a opening under the door" My brother asked, "Oxygen levels will drop eventually.."

I poked under the door and found a hole, he threw me the the bed sheet to tug it tight in the hole. We knew it was not going to change a lot but we could go on with what little we had. It was getting cold, as I saw fog come out of my mouth. Some one was playing with the temperature. The windows had ice forming on it. I started to feel sleepy. Was it sheer tiredness or the lack of oxygen, I couldn't differentiate.

"Hey kid.Stay alive" Paulo finally returning me the reassurance. It felt in me that he only spoke when he knew he was sure of what he was going to say. I passed a feeble smile. Then I think I slept, faintly seeing my brother canvassing with the little life he had in him to find something, anything to get us out.

Maybe I did doze out for a little while, seemed like few seconds only. I opened my eyes to breathing again,felt as if I was inhaling life again. I could breathe! so can Paulo and Brother Ashar. There is oxygen. How so? You beat me to it, it wasn't like we wanted to question it. We didn't feel as tired, though our bodies still ached but hope filled us. Only to come crashing down as we realized the light was growing brighter and the rising temperature was stealing away the only moment of relief we've had in a long while. All of us hurried to the west window, the room was afloat, detached from the house we were in. When and how? We knew not. We were in space. Definitely out into nothingness and the light, it was the scorching sun.

'We are going to crash into the sun' all of us thought, there was no need of verbally expressing what we felt. We all were thinking on the same lines. And believe me, they were some terrible lines we were on. Then we heard this :

"Humans can think, Humans shall think.
It is a test. Won't you detest? 

I chose you, chose you all. Chose the best, chosen for best.
The old wise man, the sentimental girl,

and the one with the brain. 
Won't you now escape? Won't you now escape?" 

The hollow voice, just a voice, seemed flowing through everything. A thousand questions filled up, what or who was this, what did it mean?, just one question rose above all : 'How'd we escape?'. 

And that's that. The dream ended! IT ENDED! Can you imagine the rage and excitement I was filled with when I woke up! I can barely sum up the queries then and now that circled my head. It was thrilling, in and out. I often thought about writing it down as a full fledged story, maybe some day I will, but for now I will let it be as an incomplete dream. With neither a beginning nor an ending. 

Creative leak

Inside willingly,
but not trapped
succumbing to the responsibilities,
all held.

Young, I thought
I'd escape
Oh dear! was that a mistake.

Ideas are mere droplets,
clouds to rain are needed.
Willing is not totality,
Strength to do is central.

Take my word,
to achieve and reach
break your bones
or else all you'll breach,
is a thin lining to your inner self -
which is surely, sheerly
just the first step.

Just... the first step.