On luck, being lost and the self.
I have been beyond lucky in life to get that which few people do. Genuine, kind hearted and well meaning friends, a supportive family, the opportunity to lead and have people put their trust in me and then experience the world beyond the limits of where I was born. For the longest time I spent time over thinking why. Not knowing that it is not our job to necessarily know. At times, pure gratitude is enough. For some time exercising gratitude and not introspection has helped me stay grounded - more forward thinking. I am coming around not trying to prove - to others, to myself, compensate and justify what I have to someone and anyone. It has ultimately taken the joy that I once felt when I started both my work and my adult life. When I had nothing, I was driven by the ambition to have. Now that I've acquired some, I no longer think wanting is enough. Somewhere down the line I complicated life thinking I was making it easy. The irony is both a source of embarrassment and relief.